As a result, repetition and yelling decreases, and we can move toward creating a win-win solution. However, if we speak in short phrases and repeat what we have heard using each others' words, we will know that everything has been heard correctly.
Ugh! I'd say this type of communication is not very effective. Because most of what has been spoken was not responded to, everyone feels unheard, and yes, now they have to repeat themselves and/or yell at each other some more. Their partner does the same, and a downward spiral of miscommunication and misunderstanding happens, leaving everyone walking away unfulfilled, exhausted, and defeated. Their rebuttal is also in paragraph form, and they go on and on. Their partner responds, reacts, or defends against the last thing spoken. Most people, particularly when they are arguing with each other, speak in paragraph form and go on and on. We will know what we have said to each other. I am just listening.Īs we go through this process of active listening, it is valuable to speak in short phrases rather than long paragraphs. My Valorant was opened and running when I tried this. Scroll until you find Valorant and unmute it or higher the volume. I don't have to prove you wrong or make you hear my point I just listen. If you want to try, right click on sound on the bottom right of the task bar where the sound icon is and then click volume mixer. In The Shock of Recognition, playwright Jack Barnstable auditions Richard Pawling for a role that requires nudity and discovers the overeager actor is more than willing to show his stuff. When I am actively listening, you don't have to convince me of anything. You Know I Cant Hear You When the Waters Running is a collection of four unrelated one-act comedy plays by Robert Anderson. You would feel you would have to argue with me to prove your point so that I would agree with you. Without active listening, you would not feel heard. You couldn't tell me the deeper message until you knew I heard the surface message. Once you are clear that I hear what you are saying on the surface level, then you can drop to the next level, and then the next level, until eventually you are telling me what you really want to tell me. It just means that I hear what you are saying. When I repeat your words, it doesn't mean I agree with you or disagree with you. I am just repeating your words, and you will feel like I am finally hearing you.
This can feel like I am just parroting you or mimicking you, but I'm not.
This helps us speak in the same language, whether it is visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. I don't interpret your words I use your words. Basically, I tell you what I heard you say. Active listening is a therapeutic tool that has been around for a very long time.
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